I think sympathy cards are truly one of the most difficult cards to make and to send. And yet I truly believe they are the most necessary and important cards we should send.
I don't say this without a considerable amount of thought...I say this having lost two sons and my brother in the past eight years. My brother passed away just shy of two years ago after a long battle with many health issues. Eight years ago our son died after a hard fought battle with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. And five weeks ago our oldest son took his own life after a hard and sad battle with war related PTSD.
I don't share this with you for sympathy. Although your prayers and compassion have been so greatly appreciated.
This brings me to my point. The sympathy cards we have received have meant so much to us. We have been able to go back and reread them and it is a comfort to us.
People truly are at loss for words of what to say and sometimes say things that they later regret. I think it is so important that we show them grace. After all it really is difficult to find the best words because really are there any best words?
"I'm sorry"...yes we are all sorry. "It isn't fair to lose a child"...why isn't it? Honestly people die everyday and while it is hard it is real. "He was too young"...who am I to question God's wisdom?
We have found that the sentiments that have meant the most to our hearts are along these lines.
"Please let us know how we may help you heal. I hope this card finds you surrounded by strength and compassion. I will miss him and remember him with fondness of the times we spent together. It was truly a pleasure to have gotten to know him. I will miss him forever."
Again, it isn't easy to send this type of card and nobody ever really wants to have to do it, but it does make a big difference