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  • Brenda Paulsen

You're a Fat Banana and Other Words I Can't Forget

Updated: Jul 6, 2019

Today was a big day for me. I wore a YELLOW shirt!

I know what you are probably thinking. What in the world is so earth-shattering about wearing a yellow shirt? Oh, my dear friends if you only knew…and since you may not, I shall take you back to when my phobia of yellow began.

I have always, almost as far back as I can remember, well more accurately in about the summer before third grade, I have struggled with my weight. As an adult I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and my mama says she wonders now if that is why I struggled so much with my weight.

Anywho… Back to the third grade. As plain as day I remember wearing a blue plaid skirt (we were required to wear skirts and dresses) and a yellow shirt to school one day. I had picked this outfit out and loved it. And that fateful day a kid I shall call Mark, because that was his name, said I looked like a “fat banana”. I was devastated because; well several reasons. First I loved this outfit, second I thought he was my friend, third I was embarrassed and finally my heart was broken. I never ever wore that shirt again and in fact I decided right then and there that I would never again wear anything yellow. As the years went on I would see something that I would kind of like but if it was yellow or had any yellow in it I refused to consider it. I had even convinced myself that yellow didn't even look good on me.

Then several years ago I came across a pair of wedge sandals that were a floral yellow and cream color and I fell in love with them. I decided I would buy them because they were only going to be on my feet and how fat of a banana could they make me look? Recently I decided that Mark and his mean words had affected too many years of my life and I purchased a top that had a tiny yellow strip in it with other colors. And finally, three days ago I took a huge brave step forward and purchased a yellow top. No other colors to offset it, all yellow. Nothing to hide behind. And because I am on a mission to only buy clothes I will like, am comfortable in and will wear…this was a huge step. Today I am wearing the top!!

Words can really stick with us and shape how we feel about ourselves. Even if they are not true it is amazing how they can get into the very depths of our being and shape how we think about ourselves.

Be careful with your words and if there are words or actions that you have been on the receiving end of and that have shaped how you may think about a color.

I challenge you to do something hard today. I challenge you to bury those things, leave them in the past where they belong, don’t let them have any more power over you and embrace that color you may hate. You may be surprised and maybe even set free.

When I designed this card, my thought was how this woman is comfortable in her skin, comfortable with what she is wearing and that is what I want to be. I want to be comfortable in what I wear and in my color choices because I love them not because of what the Mark’s of the world might say. (hubby not included) I care what he says.







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© 2019 by Brenda Paulsen